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satal (880698)

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Look at the Stars and You're Gone
Lovliness is Most Inspired by Pain.

Name:

Satal de Rihannsu

Website:

Demon Fart Cabbage

Location:

Marion, Virginia, United States

Birthdate:

1984-11-24

E-mail:

satalderihannsu

hotmail.com

LJ Talk:

satal

livejournal.com (Jabber)

AOL IM:

satalderihannsu (Add Buddy, Send Message)

Yahoo! ID:

satal_of_rihanssu7 (Add User, Send Message)

MSN Username:

satalderihannsu

hotmail.com

Bio:

Bio? Damn... I am a composite of my interests. Yeah, that's right, keep scrolling. Mostly, though, I am a soul-bruised banshee of banality who is obsessed with the oft-found but rarely seen Beauty in all things. I am a freak, but benignly so. I am dark, and light (to throw in a boring cliche), and I am all things known and unseen. I am a socialist anarchist, and I mean it.

*******

The above was written a very long time ago. A very short time ago. When I was younger, my eternal goal was naught but knowledge, a Vulcan-like determination to be whole and solo in a pristine, cold desire for perfection.

My life then did what life does best, and chewed my plans and spit them out. Despite my insanely high intelligence, I quit college and moved in with my mate without the best of logic. Abuse, insanity, drama, and pain ensued.

I tried to find happiness and education by moving out on my own, or rather, with my lover. I tried desperately to build enough money and stability to return to school, but only found myself on constant edges of poverty. I worked in a bottom end job, scrubbing toilets every day at a college, full of jealousy and hatred every day for the perceived injustice of those so far less worthy than myself being handed what I so desperately wanted. Instead, I continued to slave and rot from the soul, learning the greatest level of humility and experiencing the most rending brain-drain conceivable.

I was trapped in a constant cycle of poverty and stupidity. Pain, pain, pain.

As of now, I have escaped that particular agony. My family shwooped in with money and support, too disgusted to see me in such a position. They are mad, and cruel in many ways... and yet I know they love me. And I am thankful to return to school, no matter how I must do so. If it means being outwardly endless in thanks, then so be it. At the very least I move forward.

So who am I now? After two years of slaving and unsuccess, who am I now?

Whereas I was once full of confidence and conceit, I am now weakened, blinded, and still conceited. I am rediscovering my intelligence, albeit with holes and lacks. I once had integrity of a paladin level of honour -- now I am a thief, and full of cynicism.

I have changed so much, and I seem to be in mourning for myself. Yet I have the greatest of hope...

So much hope my soul burns inside me.

***

Wow, and THAT was written a long time ago. I've improved a great deal since that time capsule of hatred. I'm about to move on to a full four-year university (VCU), have pounded out a few issues with my loved one, semi-started a semi-successful small art business, and generally become a much happier person. I am less emo than I've ever been, and I think I've finally shaken off the teenager dregs of awful. So, here I am, with a new sense of self to chronicle.

Now I again call myself a paladin, crusading for the right, the good, the just, and the hopeful. I wish to polish my rusted armour and succeed at loving life once again.

Memories:

10 entries

Interests:

128: alice in wonderland, androgyny, anime, anthromorphs, ayano yamane, bdsm, beatles, beauty, bisexuality, bishoujo, bishounen, bondage, boobs, books, brian froud, cheese, cosplay, cyberpunk, david bowie, death cab for cutie, doujinshi, dragons, due south, eddie izzard, erotica, extraterrestrial life, faeries, fangs, fantasy, fetishes, ffvii, ffviii, fight club, films, final fantasy, furries, gay, gender-bending, gender-queering, german techno, glam rock, good omens, harry potter, hedonism, hellsing, hentai, homoerotica, homosexuality, humour, imagination, insanity, intelligence, jim henson, kingdom hearts, knowledge, learning, leather, lesbianism, magic, magick, manga, masturbation, metaphysics, monty python, movies, music, mythology, neil gaimen, nietzsche, nine inch nails, oscar wilde, paganism, pansexuality, paradoxes, passion, philosophy, placebo, pleasure, poetry, porn, postal service, psychology, pteraphilia, punk, quantum physics, rain, rasputina, read or die, reading, religion, rene magritte, rocky horror picture show, role play, sandman comics, science fiction, seduction, sensuality, sex, sexuality, shiny things, shonen-ai, slash, soulbonding, spirituality, star trek, steampunk, surrealism, synesthesia, tarot, terry gilliam, terry pratchett, theatre, thunder, tom robbins, tori amos, tori maia, transexualism, transhumanism, vampirism, velvet goldmine, video games, video gaming, william finn, wings, witchcraft, writing, yaoi, yuri

Schools:

Hardin Park Elementary School - Boone, NC
Marion High School - Marion, VA (1999 - 2003)
Virginia Commonwealth University - Richmond, VA (2003)
Virginia Highlands Community College - Abingdon, VA (2006)

Friends:

	27:	anyasy, blondefeste, captainecchi, cassieclaire, devilkitten1, dvantmonkmiroku, glitter_traces, homo_evolus, irrational84, jujo, laurel17, manic_intent, mikhyel, murrday, pyrofox, shinishichan, skyknyt, snape_a_day, stormwindz, sungoesdown17, sweetprince, themoo37, trapezzoid, vt_andros, wind_and_shadow, xblooboox, yaoiandpocky
	12:	avatar_episodes, baschbalthier, brokenboys, cookiesforbasch, hentai_bliss, merry_smutmas, non_lifestylers, switchythings, the_dfc, vcu, vintage_sex, yaoi_daily